Captains, Vulcans, and Emotions
by ninjadevil2000
Summary: Consisting of two parts: Part 1: Missing scene directly after Spock's scream of fury at Khan. Part 2: Missing scene directly following Jim waking up and talking to Spock and Bones. Both will be written in Spock's POV. This could probably be considered Spirk but I wrote it as fluffy friendship. First ST fic so please let me know what you think.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, although I wouldn't mind owning Kirk and Spock. ;)**

**Summary: Consisting of two sections: Part 1: Missing scene directly after Spock's scream of fury at Khan. Part 2: Missing scene directly following Jim waking up and talking to Spock and Bones. Both will be written in Spock's POV. This could probably be considered Spirk but I wrote it as fluffy friendship. My mind is really fluffy though so it's fluffy enough to be considered romance probably. Feel free to read either way. **

**And I don't know why, but my subconscious (her name is Alex) and I seem to work best late at night so part of this was written near 1 AM while watching a late night football game. **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy and reviews would be much appreciated as this is my first foray into the Enterprise world. I have many more ideas though so let me know if you'd like to see more ST fics. **

_xxxxx_

**Part I: **

After letting out the distraught yell, the name Khan echoing through the ship, Spock couldn't help but let the tears fall. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Jim's face. The eyes that were still open. The limp hand that had fallen away from the glass. Finally, Spock made himself look away, up at the panel next to the door. It now read, _Decontamination process complete - Airlock safe._

Spock raised his arm and hit the button. The door slid open and Spock stepped around quickly and, kneeling down, he reached out a trembling hand and slid his captain's eyes shut.

Distantly, he heard the voice of Scotty calling for Dr. McCoy, as well as the cries of Uhura. Spock, unable to look at the face of his friend and captain any longer, stood up and moved away, outside of the chamber. He leaned against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose, breathing deeply, trying to contain the tears. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his arm. He glanced up and saw Nyota.

"Hey," she said softly. Spock looked down again and swallowed. He took a deep breath before looking at her. There were no more tears in his eyes now. Only fury. Hatred. Rage.

He looked around. Scotty had wandered nearer to the airlock and was looking down at his captain with the most contorted expression on his face, and Spock knew that the Engineer was desperately trying to keep his own tears at bay. Hearing footsteps, Spock turned and straightened his uniform. He faced the turbolift, out of which stepped three medical officers, a stretched held between them.

He wondered briefly why Doctor McCoy wasn't with them, but he quickly realized that the doctor would be fighting his own emotions as well. After all, the doctor had known Jim for six years now and would have known him just as well as Spock had.

He watched, the sounds and voices seeming muffled, as the medics gently lifted the captain's form and lowered it onto the stretcher before returning back to the turbolift. Wordlessly, Spock followed them a minute later, stepping onto the next lift and returning to the bridge, Nyota with him. As soon as it stopped, his anger still rising, he bolted out onto the bridge, eyes on the screen.

"Search the enemy ship for signs of life," he said hastily, looking at the wreckage upon the viewscreen.

"Sir, there's no way anyone survived," Sulu said from his chair.

Spock spun around, pure hatred evident on his face. "_He_ could."

_xxxxx_

**Part II: **

Spock entered into the small room from the examination room. Spock had hardly left the room since Kirk had been admitted; in fact, Doctor McCoy had had to force him many times to leave for food or fresh air. That was the most, however. He never left the room for more than a few minutes, sometimes even sitting in the chair next to Kirk's bed. Sometimes he would meditate, at other times he would read or complete the impending number of documents.

But now, at last, standing out in the slightly larger room, Spock's Vulcan hearing heard a lower voice. One he hadn't heard in days. The captain had awoken and was now weakly talking to Doctor McCoy.

Spock entered quietly but remained near the door, only coming closer when Kirk asked, "How'd you catch him?"

"I didn't," the doctor replied.

Kirk finally turned his eyes to Spock.

"You saved my life," he said after a moment.

"Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know?" McCoy said from the other side of the captain's bed. Kirk glanced his way with a small grin.

"You saved my life, Captain," Spock began. "And the lives of–"

"Spock, just –" the captain interrupted, sounding slightly exasperated. "Thank you."

"You are welcome, Jim," Spock replied quietly.

There was silence for another few minutes, only the sound of the door sliding open and closed as McCoy left, before Kirk spoke again. "Bones said I've been out two weeks," he muttered.

Spock nodded. The chair, one Spock had occupied nearly all the time over the past two weeks, stood near the wall, and he dragged it nearer the bed, taking a seat.

The captain's face grew somber. "And how is everything? Our crew? The city?" He swallowed. "Khan?"

Spock felt a flicker of hatred rise as the name was spoken, but he brushed it aside.

"Everything is running as it should," he said. "The Enterprise is undergoing repairs as we speak and the –"

"How many casualties?" Jim interrupted.

"Captain, there's no need to worry yourself with such matters at the moment," Spock declared.

"Spock," Jim said, a bit more forceful this time. He raised himself slightly on his elbows, wincing at the effort. "How many?"

Spock paused. "Twenty-seven."

Kirk fell back against his pillows, raising his hands to cover his face. "Oh, God," Spock heard him mutter.

"Spock," the captain continued, lowering his hands. "What do I do?"

The Vulcan remained silent, looking out the nearby window.

Jim glanced back at his first officer. "I've never lost a crew member. Never in my whole command. Now I'll need to write condolence letters and –"

"I already took care of them," Spock interrupted, looking back at Kirk. "All you'll need to do, when you feel up to it, is read through them and sign them."

Kirk sat up a bit straighter. "Wait a sec, you're telling me that my Vulcan first officer disobeyed one of the most important rules of a captain? That the captain has to write the letters?"

"Yes," Spock replied. "Although considering your condition, I was temporarily named captain of the Enterprise meaning that I, technically, did not break any of the rules."

Kirk smiled a bit. "Always an answer, huh, Spock?" he said.

The Vulcan remained silent, continuing to observe his captain who was looking up at the ceiling. He saw the emotion etched into the features of his friend and captain.

Looking away, Spock realized that he wasn't sure whether he would ever want the captain's position. He knew it had its benefits, and he knew that most often, Jim enjoyed it. But seeing the pain in the man's face at the announcement that people were dead, people that had been under his command . . . it made him wonder whether it was worth it.

Nobody spoke again for at least ten minutes. Spock, who had fallen into deep thoughts, looked up at one point, wondering if his captain had fallen to sleep once again. He had not, however. Jim Kirk still remained awake, though his eyes, fixed back on the ceiling, were shedding silent tears.

Spock watched for a second before returning to look out the window again.

"What happened to your hand?" Jim asked after another moment, noticing his first officer's left hand wrapped in gauze.

Spock looked up. The tears on the other man's face were gone, swallowed away most likely. "Ah, yes," he said indifferently. "It seems I fractured three of my fingers while . . . recapturing Khan."

"You mean when you beat the shit out of him?" Doctor McCoy had returned, carrying more examination tools.

Spock smirked slightly as the captain rolled his eyes at the sight. "Bones, I'm fine," Jim said, waving a hand at the devices. "C'mon, just leave it, alright? At least for today."

"No can do, Jim," the doctor said. He then proceeded to check Jim's pulse and reflexes.

"What did you mean?" Kirk asked McCoy as the doctor tested the captain's vision.

"About what?" the doctor replied distractedly.

Jim continued. "When you came in, Spock was telling me about his hand and you said something about Spock beating up Khan?"

Spock exchanged a quick look with McCoy. "It is a . . . long story," he said after a moment.

Jim smiled slightly. "Can't wait to hear it."


End file.
